I hate being caught in the middle of doing something ridiculous. Unfortunately, it happens quite frequently to me. Case in point: today I was in the file room at work using the copier to scan in a two-sided document into our document management system. It was a fairly large document and took a long time to scan in, so I busied myself wandering around the file room. I spied a step stool at the end of a row of files, so I stood on it. That’s it, just stood on it. So I’m standing on this stool and one of our employment attorneys walks by the file room and sees me, just standing there on this step stool for no discernible reason. He gave me the strangest look. “Hi, Jim!”, I said. Still with the look. “Oh, I was just waiting on my documents to finish scanning,” I explained. Slooooooooow turn away from me.
That’s the kind of thing that happens to me. I guess I rather ask for it by continuing to do ridiculous things like standing on step stools for no reason whatsoever.
In other news, Mr. Burks celebrated his 27th birthday on Sunday. We celebrated with a lovely lunch at ye olde Cracker Barrel with his brother and mother, as well as our future sister-in-law, whom I adore. She asked Mr. Burks how old he was, and he said 27 and it hit him like a ton of bricks. Welcome to my world, my dear.
In other other news, Mr. Burks’ cousin Greg passed away yesterday. He was diagnosed with Neuroendocrine Small Cell Carcinoma of the bladder nine months ago, and gradually it spread to his liver, brain, and spinal cord. He had been doing fairly well the past couple of months, working out, going places, hitting the driving range. However, in the span of a week it went so dramatically downhill for him, and there was nothing more the doctors could do. He was 32 or 33 years old and had a six-month-old baby boy. If you are the praying type, please send one up to the deity of your choice for the family of Greg. They are all very upset. For more info on Greg’s battle, go here.
And now for something completely different. We FINALLY got some new furniture for downstairs. Anyone know how to keep animals away from new furniture? I want our dogs and cat to be appalled at the notion of parking their hairy butts on our new furniture.
So, it is spring. You know what that means. Oh, you don’t? Please allow me to elaborate. It’s…… BASEBALL SEASON!!! Finally, a sport we can both enjoy together because neither of us are very emotionally invested in our hometown Atlanta Braves. Don’t get me wrong. I love to cheer on the Bravos and admire Jeff Francoeur’s booty from our normal seats in the outfield, but Braves baseball is something we enjoy specifically for the “game” atmosphere. We love to go to Turner Field. We love paying exorbitant prices for domestic beers in plastic bottles with screw-off caps. We love big bags of peanuts and corndogs. I especially love sitting on the Lexus Level, which is shaded and has much nicer amenities than the plebeian levels. I love shouting insults at the top of my lungs to the other team. Doesn’t matter which team. I’ll hurl barbs at them and insult their women. I love high-fiving random strangers near us when there is a home run or a sports reel-worthy diving catch. I love it when the Braves win. But what allows me to enjoy going to Braves games so much is I DON’T CARE IF THEY LOSE. Now before you dismiss this as so much poppycock, allow me to explain. You see, I am married to a sports nut. If there is a sporting event on, Mr. Burks will watch it. I am okay with this. The only time Mr. Burks’ fanaticism gets to me is during football season. More specifically, during Auburn football games. We are both die-hard Auburn fans, but he takes it to another level entirely. You would think that, during an Auburn football game, that he thought Auburn to be the most incompetent team on the face of This Island Earth. He shouts, he curses, he degrades, he blasphemes, he spews venom and vitriol to the Auburn players on the field from our 42-inch high definition television. I honestly think he believes that if he makes a big enough ass of himself that the Auburn players will somehow feel his rage and start to play more in line with his wishes. This is why we watch most Auburn games at home: I am too scared that he is going to engage in all manner of foolishness if we attempt to watch a game in the presence of other people. He is nearly unbearable if they win, but GOD FORBID they should actually lose a game. If Auburn is losing a football game I will not watch it with Mr. Burks. He is downright obnoxious and continues to act like an a-hole for the remainder of the day/night. I cannot enjoy watching my beloved Auburn Tigers play a football game because I get so irritated at his outlandish behavior. But with the Braves, I know we can go to the ballpark and sit amongst the living and he won’t embarrass me too much. We display the appropriate amount of outrage and/or disgust when the Braves lose, but we are still able to enjoy a pleasant evening after the loss.
My bracket for the NCAA basketball tournament is all kinds of FUBAR. The only glimmer of hope I have is that seven of the eight teams I have selected for the Elite Eight are still in it. Stupid Georgetown. Who gets beat by Davidson?! The funny thing is one of our attorneys is a Davidson alum and he is just as surprised as everyone else at the Wildcats’ success this year.
I hope everyone had a happy Easter. Please hug your loved ones extra tight. You don’t know what might happen in the future, so make the most of the present.
