OH THE IRONY!

Ha. I might make that a regular subject.

I picked up my prescriptions this evening. Prometrium and Clomid. For those of you who are not trying to conceive a child or have never had trouble conceiving a child, here’s a lesson in fertility medication for you.

Prometrium is a female hormone used to protect the lining of the uterus blah blah blah.  Prometrium is also used to treat women who have had menstrual periods in the past but have stopped having them because of a lack of progesterone hormone (that’s me, I guess.  Hi).  It is also used to help a pregnancy “stick” in women who have a history of miscarriage by thickening or protecting the lining of the uterus, which I am assuming helps the fertilized egg stay implanted.  I don’t know, I’m a n00b at all this.

So, I am taking this medication in tandem with Clomid.  What is Clomid, you ask?  Well, I’ll tell you.  Clomid is a fertility agent used to stimulate ovulation in women who want to become pregnant.  In short, me no have period, me no ovulate, me no have baby.  These medications will hopefully change all that.

I am taking the Prometrium to give me a starting point in a cycle so that I can start taking the Clomid on the fifth day of that cycle (we’ll adopt the lingo at this point and call it CD5) and continue through CD9.  At that point, hopefully, I will ovulate.  then Mr. Burks and I can engage in the Sexy Time quite frequently in hopes of making a bebeh.  Hopefully it will work for us.

So there you have it, my fertility issues laid bare before you, The Internet.

ANYWAY.  The purpose of this post was not to bore you with my lack of baby-making skillz.  The purpose was to inform you of something rather amusing on my bottle of Prometrium.  The Prometrium prescribed by my OB/GYN to help me get pregnant.  I was inspecting the medicine bottles this evening when I saw this warning plastered on the side of the bottle:

“Caution: Do Not Use This Medicine If You Are Pregnant Or Plan To Become Pregnant.”

All capital first letters, as well.  Huh?

I’m sure you wanted to know all that.

Today was a hard day at work for reasons won’t go into it here.  Suffice it to say I am mentally and emotionally drained, and I am glad that I am going to be out of the office for the rest of the week.  We are taking a long weekend trip to Charleston, leaving tomorrow morning.  I am glad to be able to get away for a little while.

The hubby and I had our annual fight this weekend stretching into last night.  We seriously have one fight a year, and it is always a doozy.  This year was not different.  Tears were shed, there was much wailing and gnashing of teeth.  But it’s resolved, and on we go.  I am hoping that we are both able to de-stress on our trip.

That’s about all I got right now.

Shock and awe.

Is it possible to be incredibly happy for a friend, yet incredibly sad for yourself at the same time?  I mean, there’s no point in getting upset or mad about it because it is completely out of my control, but at the same time to be so filled with envy and jealousy toward someone who is your friend and to be absolutely thrilled for them at the same time is a strange place to be.

I don’t understand why things come so easy to other people and are so incredibly difficult for me.  The one thing I want the most in this world just will not come to me, and it’s just raining on other people all around me.

Forgive me if I get a little discouraged.  Forgive me if I get a little frustrated.  But it just happens to you, and not to me, and no amount of telling me to relax and just not think about it is going to make it happen for me.

Home, home on the range…

Del Sol sold. For $1,200 more than we paid for it. Huzzah.

Trip to B’ham this weekend was good. Saw my brother get his nose slightly broken. No black eyes, so he’s going to pull through.

I love German chocolate cake, as made by my mother.

I also love our family get-togethers, because Mom always gets a deli tray. Unlike Aunt Becky, I loooove sandwiches.

I hate going out of town because we have to get our dogs boarded, and I don’t like being away from them. I love picking them up, though, because they are so worn out that they behave like little doggy angels for the rest of the night. They are curled up on the floor asleep in a pile as I type. So cute.

Not to mention I don’t like paying to have them boarded, even though where they go is very reasonable. But I’m a tightwad.

I have been out of sorts lately. It’s kind of sucked.

I am going on Clomid in a couple of weeks. Things just aren’t working on their own like they should be, so it looks like I’m going to need a little help with the whole baby-making thing. Hopefully this will do the trick.

Ugh, time to get on the treadmill.

What is this thing?

What? I have a blog? I had almost forgotten.

So, not too much has been going on the past two weeks. We went to Panama City Beach for the 4th of July Burks Beach Reunion 2.0. It was… interesting. Rednecks galore, I’ll say that much. I enjoyed spending time with my sisters-in-law and their families, as well as Man-Child and Child Bride. We had a lot of fun.

I went to the doctor for a check-up on Wednesday. Turns out I am healthy as a horse, although a little heavier than the doctor would like. I could have told him that. So I called up Mr. Burks on the way back to work and gave him a project: to acquire and assemble a treadmill for me by the time I arrived home from work. He succeeded. I have walked/jogged two miles every evening (except yesterday) and hopefully I will keep it up and improve my stamina, and lose some weight as well. He also wrote me another prescription for my beloved Adderall, which will help me with the weight loss endeavor, and also help me at work. I love my new doctor.

I go to the lady doctor this coming Thursday. Hopefully she will put me on some other medication to regulate my cycles, because what I’m on now hasn’t done hardly anything for me. She had mentioned putting me on Clomid back in February, but at the time we were in the “let’s see what happens” frame of mind. Well, now we are both in the “let’s have a baby now” column, so we are pretty anxious to get the ball rolling, the sooner the better. Hopefully it will be the key to getting pregnant fairly soon.

We finally (FINALLY) got rid of the Expedition. Jumped off that sinking ship and traded it in for a car I’ve always wanted: a Chrysler 300. It all boils down to this: I was tired of paying for a car I wasn’t driving, and tired of driving a car I wasn’t enjoying (and that was actually making my back hurt worse). Last summer when we drove down to Panama City for Burks Beach Reunion Series 1, we crunched some numbers and found it less expensive to rent a car and drive it down there than to drive the Expedition. We had a friend in the car rental business, so he hooked us up with the “luxury” upgrade and we scored a 300. Needless to say, it was a very pleasant ride. The interior is very roomy. Man Child was able to stretch out in the back seat and said it was very comfy. And it gets 26 mpg on the highway, which is not as good as the 34 the Del Sol gets, but a lot better than the 13 the Expedition was getting. Most of my driving is highway anyway, so that works out to my advantage. Plus I have a little more peace of mind in this car than I do in the Del Sol. It really is quite scary to drive on 85 during the morning and evening rush hours in that tiny little tin can. I would most certainly lose in any collision situation I found myself in. The payments are about the same as what we were paying on the Expedition, so in our discussions we decided to start paying double payments for the next 7 months, and then when Mr. Burks gets his bonus in March we are just going to put the lion’s share of it toward the car and hopefully get within spitting distance of paying it off. Overall, I am pleased with the vehicle. I can see myself driving it for a long time and putting baby seats in the back. I don’t like having a car payment, but I see it as a goal I need to strive to attain. Paying off that car shall become my new obsession.

I always had a love/hate relationship with the Expedition. I hated the payments, and I hated the means by which we acquired it, but it never gave us any problems. The actual vehicle itself was quite nice. It rode like a dream, had a ton of room for us and the dogs, and people got out of my way. But darn that gas mileage. DARN IT. We still have my Pathfinder that I bought in college to cart the dogs around in, so that’s not really a big deal. The Expedition was a great car to us, but like all things, its time had come to an end. I was somewhat sad about seeing it go, but I think I will really enjoy my (MY) new car. That I picked out. And I love.

Anyone want to buy a Del Sol?

Pow! Bang!

One of my favorite memories of my childhood is watching Batman with my little brother. Who, incidentally, is not so little anymore at 6′6″ and 240 lbs. Not the cartoon, but the old school live action version with Adam West. Who was not the mayor of Quahog at the time. My brother was the biggest Batman fan in the known universe when he was a kid. We still hold fast to the idea that Batman is far superior to other superheroes because he possesses no special superhuman powers. He fights crime with guts and gadgets, and it makes it that much more thrilling knowing that he could be killed by something other than an obscure rock from a faraway planet that, conveniently, every supervillain has a connection that can get their hands on some.

Anyway, my kid brother was all about Batman. He had Batman birthday parties, Batman Underoos, Batman bedsheets, Batman action figures, all that jazz. The part that I remember and look back on with the most fondness, however, was when he took to drawing Batman action words ( think “POW!” “BANG!” “ZOIT!”) and would get me and my father to hold up his action words when he would say them, just like the words flashed up on the screen. Above, some of my favorite Batman action words. Google it. There were some pretty hilarious ones.

What’s your favorite childhood memory?

THIS JUST IN: So I’m watching I Survived a Japanese Game Show and I see a face that looks familiar to me. Then the name pops up under the face: Just.in, 24, Truss.ville, AL. So I call up my brother. Hello, brother, I say. What are you doing? Watching I Survived a Japanese Game Show, he says. He then informs me that the Justin I saw on the television was none other than his friend and former coworker Just.in Wo.od, who just so happens to be the younger brother of that failed abortion named Ma.tt that I so foolishly let rent my house in Truss.ville. Talk about a small world. My brother and I were having lunch at the Riverchase Galleria during a day of Christmas shopping when we discovered that he knew and was friends with Failed Abortion Ma.tt’s brother. He told me that Just.in also thought his brother sucked at life. Which he does. That’s nice to know. How sucky must you be for your own brother to think you are a complete screw-up? Go figure, this Just.in guy, he’s actually really good! He’s dancing around like a big dork now, but the kind of big dork you’d want to party with.

Damn you, Bruce Wayne.

Teenager decapitated by B@tman. The roller coaster, not the Dark Knight.

This is a terrible tragedy. I can’t even begin to imagine what his family is going through right now. I really, really do feel for them.

But.

Why in the world were they hopping fences into restricted areas? Why didn’t they just go back in through the proper entrance? Why did they choose that exact spot to try to get over the fence? There is only about a three or four foot span of fence that they could have climbed over that would have resulted in getting his head knocked off. And the cars pass by once every two minutes or so, for about two seconds. I mean, it’s almost like he was trying to get hit by the coaster car. I know the exact spot they must have climbed, because every time I ride the B@tman I get nervous that I’m going to kick the fence because I have really long legs. I never do, obviously. He must have gotten on the fence and hung around there for long enough to get hit. Five feet to the right, and he would still be here. Better yet, he could have just gone back in the entrance.

I hate to say it. I reeeeaaaaaally hate to say it. But this guy should be in the running for a Darwin Award. I mean, good grief. Either this kid really had a death wish, or he was really that stupid. And if the latter is true, then natural selection did its job. I’m just saying. Yes, I know that might make me seem a little callous. Oh well.

My friend Amanda told me (while we were at Six Flags last weekend, ironically) about two girls in Alabama who were hit by a train because they were LAYING OUT ON THE TRAIN TRACK. Why in hades would anybody think it was a good idea to lay out on a train track??? Again, natural selection. Do we really want people that stupid to contribute to the gene pool? I don’t think so.

Man, I’m a bitch.

In other news, the Bad Ashes won our first game tonight! It was a 12-6 stomping. I got an RBI double, thank you very much.

In other other news, we are heading to Panama City Beach on Thursday afternoon for the Burks Beach Reunion 2.0. All of the Burks siblings and spouses and children will be down there for the weekend. It was great fun last year. I love my sisters-in-law. They are all hilarious, and when they get together it is a regular laugh riot. Moreover, I’m glad it is a short week at work. And then at the end of July, we are going to Charleston. I’ve never been, but everyone says it is really nice.

So that’s about it. Anything exciting going on for you this summer?